HOW DO WE FORGIVE?

So, how can we be sure that we have truly forgiven a person who has wronged us?  What are the practical steps to take so we can really forgive?

Forgiveness is the act of freeing the person who has offended us. It is freeing them form our resentment, anger and our insistence that they pay back for the wrong or the debt they owe us.

However, forgiveness does not mean that we must pretend that we have not been wronged. We can recognise the wrong but choose not to insist on revenge. However, we need to let the offender know exactly how we feel about their actions without rancor and insults. Where they have been rude to us, we need not be rude in return but tell them firmly that such actions are not welcome by us. No pretenses. We should also not allow others to take undue advantage of us. For example, a person borrows from us, promises to pay back but refuses to pay back eventually. We have every right to demand a repayment. Where they still fail, and keep begging that we forgive the debt, we may forgive such debt but should not feel compelled to lend them money in future. We need to protect ourselves from being maltreated.

Of course, we should be ready to forgive those who are penitent and who show that they are willing to change. Now, how about those who have wronged us and are not ready to apologise? We should not condone the actions of such recalcitrant ones. However, we need to save ourselves from feelings of rash anger and thoughts of revenge. Such things as anger and revenge will only make us incur a fresh debt ourselves and this is not what we desire. Let us leave such wicked ones to the operations of the laws of creation which gives to each according to his works.

In all, let us not allow the sun to go down on our anger but endeavour to forgive. After all, it is beneficial to keep our hearts free of resentment, bitterness and anger. It is good for our health and it keeps us free from doing that which is wrong.