Certainly, many children wish to obey the Commandment that stipulates that we should honour father and mother. But it becomes confusing when the person we are supposed to honour cannot be said to be honourable.
It should first be mentioned that this Commandment of God has been misunderstood up till now. It was interpreted in a one sided way as if children were obliged to honour their parents regardless of the nature of such parents. Furthermore, while the correct form of the Commandment is “Thou shalt honour father and mother!” it was distorted by the addition: “Thou shalt honour thy father and thy mother!” thereby making it personal. This way, it appears that the Commandment refers to specific persons whose character cannot be foreseen from the start. Such illogicality never occurs in the Divine Laws. The Almighty’s Commandments will not make it obligatory that something be honoured which does not absolutely deserve to be honoured.
The Commandment in its pure form is directed primarily to parents. This Commandment demands that parents should keep fatherhood and motherhood honourable. This can only be achieved through their exemplary character. As implied in the question, a child will find it very difficult to honour a father who apart from being a thief always drinks to stupor; consequently disturbing the peace of the home. It will be sheer hypocrisy if a child claims that he can honour such a father or honour a mother who is shameless and unfaithful to her husband the child’s father.
Where parents behave in this way, they make if a torment for their children to obey this Commandment of God. In such cases, what should be natural reverence for the child towards father and mother is replaced with an empty and hypocritical form of politeness which brings the child no benefit.
Instead of sham respect, the word “mother” or “father” should call forth deep inner feelings out of which the image arises before the soul of the child to guide him as he steps out in life right up to old age. It is therefore a great loss for a child when it cannot honour its father or its mother with its whole soul!
Thou shalt honour father and mother should be for us a command to raise fatherhood and motherhood to honour! If all those who enter into marriage bear this in mind then marriages will be transformed to what they should be, anchored in the spiritual. Through the quality of their parents, children will be compelled to honour father and mother whole heartedly thereby fulfilling this sacred Commandment. Children who then fail to obey this Commandment will bring a dreadful retribution upon themselves.
